Idolatry?

A few nights ago I looked up at the moon as it sent slivers of silver through the window, and I wondered why people used to worship it. It's not like the sun; it's not as bright, it doesn't give warmth, and it doesn't look like it really does anything. Did people worship it just because it was a shiny thing up in the sky? How foolish and backward.

An instant later I realized that I do things just as stupid every day. I idolize my grades at school; not that I consciously put them on some high plane or really put school first in my life, but I seem to think that my test scores somehow determine my future. In my mind I attribute to them more power than they actually have, a power that only God has. If I really believe that God is in control of my future and can do whatever He wants with me, even if I fail a test or (even worse!) a whole class, He has already taken that into account when mapping out my destiny. He is in control and will do what He wants, whether or not I make an A-, B-, or F!

That doesn't mean I won't study; I will still do my best to use the talents that God has given me to learn as much as I can. But it means that I can trust God with everything, and ask Him for brokenness without saying, "take every area of my life except my grades. I must make good grades..."

It's good to get rid of that burden.

Just as it applied to the pagans who sacrificed constantly to appease the moon god, Jesus' appeal reaches through the centuries and into my life: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Hoo-rah!

Almost done with another semester!

One more test. Two final exams. About five dozen projects. Then we're done till fall! Happy happy happiness.

Going to Mexico this summer. I was kindof disappointed that I won't get to go to the ship Doulos this summer, but now I'm thinking it's probably for the best. So instead of going overseas for two months, I'll be heading down to Mexico for a week. I think we're planning to do some clinic work down there, and maybe some education projects, as well as construction. I'm looking forward to it!

I should go get busy again... or take a nap. Nap sounds gooooood....

Where....am... I?

I rubbed my eyes groggily before literally dragging myself out of bed. The numbers on my blaring alarm clock read 4:45. In the morning.

"Oh, what a beautifully wonderful day to go to clinicals," I thought, sarcasm being my only refuge that early in the morning, when dreams were still dancing before my eyes.

I groaned and stumbled, bleary-eyed, towards the door to the bathroom, where I turned on the heater to get dressed without freezing. But as I slowly became capable of thinking (a very slow process sometimes!), an idea began to press itself inside my brain.

Sleep deprivation. Check.

I followed the though thread: in my research for my thesis, I keep finding that nursing students feel isolated because they study all the time.

Social isolation. Check.

This was getting interesting. The thought started to bloom in earnest as I realized nursing school tests (which already appeared on my blog a few weeks ago) are notorious for their harshness and obscurity.

Intense questioning. Check.

So sleep deprivation, social isolation, and intense questioning... for a moment I wondered if I was a nursing student or a detained "enemy combatant" at Gitmo!

No, I know that's ridiculous. They get free food and recreation time every day. :-)

All joking aside, it is a good program. It has to be hard because nurses can't afford to make mistakes; people's lives are in the balance.

But it would be nice if we had recreation time every day. :-)