One of my favorite movie moments is when Buddy the Elf (who grew up in Santa's workshop at the North Pole) confronts a department-store Santa for being an impersonator. "You sit on a throne of lies," hisses Buddy, moments before ripping off "Santa's" beard in front of a crowd of kiddies.
Yesterday I was forced to confront some lies that have wormed their way into my own life. I didn't exactly build a throne on them, I guess, but I was doing something worse: building my marriage on them.
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.--Colossians 2:8
When I read that verse, I started thinking. Paul presented a contrast: "The world according to human tradition/philosophy" vs "The world according to Christ." The world's philosophy and tradition are nothing but "empty deceit." That's pretty clear.
What hurts is when you start thinking about the things in your life that are not based directly on Scriptural principles. According to what we read above, if it's not based on Scriptural principles, it's empty deceit. Lies.
What started to hit home was that some of my expectations of my husband have absolutely no basis in Scripture but only in human tradition, and that my expectations of myself and my role in marriage were lies as well. I was comparing myself to the world's idea of a wife's role, adding a few "Christianized" requirements, and saying to myself that I was doing pretty well as a wife. At the same time I was basing my expectations of my husband (how embarrassing to have to admit it!) on what I had seen on TV, read in books, or observed in other couples.
Sometimes it was as innocuous as who takes out the garbage. In my experience, and, I admit, on TV, usually the guy takes out the trash for garbage day. And even though it's not really a big deal for me to take out the trash, I was irritated at Scott for not doing it because "he's supposed to." Where is that in Scripture? Nowhere. It was a lie that the Enemy wanted me to believe so that I would be frustrated with my husband.
Lots of similar things were bugging me. But when I started meditating on Col. 2:8 I started realizing how they were all lies, empty deceit. And when I started thinking about Scriptural principles, I saw how far my heart was from where God would have it.
...whoever would be great among you must be your servant,and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.-- Matthew 20:26-28
Wow. Ouch. Convicting! And that's not even mentioning Proverbs 31. So instead of thinking about ways I wish Scott would serve me (and in the process not appreciating what he does already) I should be looking for ways to serve him, above and beyond what Scripture lays out as a wife's role.
But I don't think that this lesson is limited to marriage, or even to relationships.
We all have certain expectations and goals in life that direct our daily decisions. But what if those expectations are not based on Scriptural principles? For example, "The American Dream:" doing well in business, owning a nice home, raising your family and being able to buy plenty of "stuff," whatever your preferred brand of "stuff" may be. Is that based on Scripture? Is it based on anything but selfishness? It's a lie! And when times get tough and the dream crumbles: the house gets foreclosed, your business folds, and you can't buy your stuff anymore, there is nothing left but the lie, the emptiness that mocks you for building on such a foundation.
But if your goal is to glorify God and pursue Him, whatever your circumstances, it changes the meaning of everything. Sometimes you can still have the nice house, good business, etc, because God wants you to have those resources to serve Him. But because the goal is to serve God and others, if you lose everything material you have not lost your purpose. Even if you never regain your possessions, you can still glorify God and serve others. Not that it would be easy, but at least it wouldn't be empty.
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Lord, what are the areas I need to tear down and rebuild on the true foundation? Show me. Show me the truths in Scripture that are strong enough to hold up my life. Help me fix my eyes on you, and build my life on the Rock.
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