Church signs, Calvary Road, and a lot of Love

Driving past a little church today I smirked at their marquee-lettered sign: "God is love, love is of God." But that little sign did what it was supposed to do. It made me think about the verses it was based on, and in a flash I understood something I had never quite understood before.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God for God is love.--1 John 4:7-8

I have always had a problem with these verses. I mean, not everyone who loves is born of God. Most people have at least one person they love; does that mean most people are born of God? No, surely not. Can an emotion really identify who is born of God? I don't really think so. What about all those people who say they love someone and then change their minds? Was that really love that was "of God?" I think we'd agree that the answer is no. But then what do these verses mean?

To begin with, is love really a feeling? Is love the mushy-gushies? The skipping of your heart when a certain person walks in the room? The combination of physical and personal attraction? Most of us would agree that movies and television may not be the best guides to living life (except the totally realistic shows like MacGyver, right?), but whether we realize it or not our ideas of love are influenced by scriptwriters, actors, and actresses. One thing that can help counteract all these unhealthy influences is a healthy family. I am very blessed to have a Mom and Dad who not only told us about what love is, but showed us. One thing Dad always said was that love is a choice. You make a choice to love someone and then you do, whether you feel like it or not, whether it's easy or not, no matter what happens or changes in your life. He pointed out to us from a very young age that "falling in love" was a temporary feeling; that we needed to guard our hearts until we found the person that God wanted us to choose to love forever. My brother Daniel even incorporated that idea into his wedding vows. So while the motion picture industry continues to bombard us with the idea that mushy-gushy love leads to happily ever after, the truth remains unchanged: love is a choice.

But what does it mean to choose to love?

Our community group is going through Roy Hession's book Calvary Road. It's only 107 pages as a mass market paperback (not including the appendix), and the average chapter is around 10 pages. But it is chock full of spiritual truth about personal revival, with an emphasis on rooting out the sin in our lives. This past week we discussed chapter 6, Revival in the Home. Mr. Hession says the second biggest problem we have in our homes is failure to love.

Love is not just a sentimental feeling, nor even a strong passion... The famous passage in 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what real love is... Love is long-suffering [patient] and is kind. Love vaunteth not itself [does not boast] is not puffed up [is not conceited]. Love does not behave itself unseemly [is not rude], seeketh not her own [is not selfish], is not easily provoked [does not get irritated], thinketh no evil [does not entertain unkind thoughts of another].

Love is a choice. But it isn't just a one-time choice, it is a thousand choices a day, hundreds of opportunities where we can choose to act in love or in selfishness. Will you choose to be patient when you find your husband's socks in the middle of the floor? Will you choose not to boast/rub it in that you yourself always use the hamper? Will you determine not to be easily provoked? Will you choose not to entertain unkind thoughts about him? Love is coming to this crossroad hundreds of times a day and choosing to take the unselfish, un-self-centered path. Love is this action of choosing.

Driving home today I suddenly realized that this is the kind of love that is born of God, and everyone who loves this way is born of God. It's not easy. It's not just a diet of depriving yourself of what you want every once in a while; it's a lifestyle change. It's something we can't do without God's grace and empowerment. Actually, the apostle John explains a little bit further, making it pretty clear:

This is how God showed his love among us: he sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

And whether you're single or married, on your own or living at home, the next verse is a challenge for all your relationships. With co-workers, friends, neighbors, in the context of love as the million choices we can make in a day:

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.